Wednesday, November 24, 2010

thankful... for the rest of the days...

trust me, the thing i'm thankful for these days covers the rest. trust me.

i'm thankful for the lessons God is teaching me through the journey of having and now taking care of Reid.

the lesson of trust. this is the big mama of them all that God is so intricately weaving through every circumstance, begging the question 'do i really trust Him?' Him who created the heavens and the earth. who made this little boy inside me... knitting him in my womb. he knew what yesterday would bring and knows the day that He will call me home. and yet i worry and fret and mull over circumstance over circumstance in my mind. so this is what i am learning. if when i pray i say, i trust you God... with every ounce of faith in me, that's enough. he knows my heart, he knows when i'm wavering. but i believe the 'believing by faith & trusting' is a process... of where i have not nor do i think i will ever arrive at. but if i am trusting more in each situation... i think that's what he calling me to.

the lesson of asking and be willing to accept help. i think when we denounce all help what we are really saying is that we are too prideful to acknowledge we need help. pride can destroy us so easily and so in this latest season i am trying to ask for help and seek it out when i need it. do i want to admit this issue of pride, no... but right now help is the best thing i can get. i would be stupid, yes stupid to ignore it.

the lesson of choosing to see God's faithfulness. i think when you are in a circumstance with the future unknown, you think often of what is the worse case scenario. don't leave me alone here, others do this too, right?! but, i think especially during thanksgiving week to think about what God has done in our lives up to this point and how can i praise him right now for all of that instead of focusing on what I see Him waiting to do. God is always good... we just have to make the choice to see it.

these lessons, although difficult to swallow have brought me to today... this hour where i sit thinking about my present reality and i have the choice to trust God, to accept & ask for help & to see God's faithfulness. I can say on the sunny days all i want that i trust God but it's days like today that matters. my situation isn't even that HUGE but that doesn't mean it doesn't feel that way.

im choosing today, this week, this year to be thankful for the lessons God is teaching me... for in my reality He is ALL I NEED.
happy thanksgiving,

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