Monday, November 1, 2010

thankful. day 1.

today i begin a post (Lord willing) that will lead to a daily post about thankfulness. some days it will just be a sentence, a word, maybe a picture, but today may as well be thanksgiving... it was just that good of a day.

six long weeks ago we found out that our baby was breech. he looked really healthy from the ultrasound but the fact that he was breech threw me for a loop. the questions began looming and continued for a few weeks. i told everyone i knew. i worried about it. i thought about the recovery of a c-section, a lot. i cried about it. i asked for prayer. and every morning the first thing in my prayer journal was asking for prayer regarding this subject.

then, it happened. it was a sleepless night that led to this post. some of you may have known that although i didn't explicitly state the fear i was talking about... this was it. i realized that if the rubber wasn't hitting the road in the reality that i was facing and the rubber being trusting God and the road being my life... then really could i trust God in anything. i didn't know it but that day led to a breakthrough moment... what would it mean if i really trusted God?! you never know when those moments will occur but this was one of them.

that day i was led in my normal bible study to this passage: matthew 21:18-22
Jesus Curses the Fig Tree
"In the morning, as he was returning to the city, he became hungry. And seeing a fig tree by the wayside, he went to it and found nothing on it but only leaves. And he said to it, "May no fruit ever come from you again!" And the fig tree withered at once. When the disciples saw it, they marveled, saying, "How did the fig tree wither at once?" And Jesus answered them, "Truly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what has been done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, 'Be taken up and thrown into the sea,' it will happen. And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith."

i'm not even kidding... these words [the bold ones] are still ringing in my ears.

week after week i would go to the doctor for my normal check up and there was no change. i felt discouraged but at the same time I knew for sure, without a doubt in my mind that God is still good regardless of how my situation turns out because ultimately God has my good in mind and knows what's best.

last week i was brought to tears by this song - look at the lyrics:

i was astounded because it totally spoke to what i was thinking... like so fearful but knowing that God knows best but knowing He would bring glory to himself somehow for this situation, etc. etc. the words speak for themselves... again the bolded ones..
God Moves In A Mysterious Way by Jeremy Riddle
God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm

Deep in unsearchable mines
Of never failing skill
He treasures up His bright designs
And works His sovereign will

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take
The clouds you so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings, in blessings
In blessings on your head

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense
But trust Him for His grace
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face

His purposes will ripen fast
Unfolding every hour
The bud may have a bitter taste
But sweet will be the flower

Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan His work in vain
God is His own interpreter
And He will make it plain

In His own time
In His own way...

and now to today... truly a 'memorial stone' for the macdonald family... luke and i were at the ultrasound together expecting that we would hear that he hadn't turned and trying to prepare our minds for the coming week. the ultrasound tech said, he was breech right? i said yes. she said well, he's not anymore. i LAUGHED OUT LOUD! I said, what?! she said, yeah, here's his head. tears were at the corners of my eyes and luke's response was... can i text people... we were both so excited!

so today i am thankful for a lot of things. mostly that my second baby boy turned around so i will hopefully be able to deliver him 'normally.' does that make the next two weeks a bit more chaotic? yes. does that make me thrilled... yes! today may as well be thanksgiving:)



lina said...

i love this post, kristin. i love your thoughts on faith and trust. God is faithful to His word. thanks for the reminder!

Lelo said...

Kristen - I was driving home from MN..and at the end of Luke's post he said we are on our way...thought you were delivering right then...I started speeding..and then saw a Wisconsin State Trooper...easy does it! Then Lukes text came back saying no not today! Ha Ha! So happy and trying not to be too surprised at God's answer to prayer! Can't wait to meet Carter's Little Brother! Love You Guys!