truth

truth is good for the soul. for my soul. your soul. even my 21-month-old son's soul.

this week i came to a place of truth.

i was scared. worried. fretting. thinking and thinking about what was going to happen... if....!

so much so that i lost sleep. i mean like a lot of sleep. i woke up luke. i tossed and turned. and that led to frustration.

sigh. tears. frustration.

i memorized this passage of scripture this summer, but it has never been more real to me than now.... it has a story in my life now... kind of like a memorial stone marking the night where i realized that it is so... so... true.

matthew 6:25-34 says, "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."

there was a night in college when i laid awake in my uncomfortable college dorm bed thinking about what i was going to wear on a date... God placed this scripture in my lap the next day.... can you say convicted?!

but, this past weekend the same scripture came to mind and it about more than an outfit... it was about a 'real life' situation that i have no control over.

what it really means is 'do i or don't i trust God?' i can say that i do in church or to a small group or to a friend when they are going through something but when there's a reality in my life that i can't control.... do i really, i mean really believe it and more importantly live it out... a.k.a. don't loose sleep over it?!

so here i type today. do i trust God perfectly? no. do i trust Him more than i did the other day? yes. i know that God doesn't expect perfection from me... only Jesus Christ was perfect. But, progressing... toward him and trusting Him in the realities He has placed me in. As a mother, a wife, a friend, a [fill-in-the blank] i need to trust Him more.

resting in the only one who can provide me with perfect peace,
kg:)