Thursday, November 8, 2012

on my to-do list.

blogging has been on my to-do list for weeks.
but there's a husband, two children, a child in-utero, and a million other things that have made an obstacle between the computer keys and my mind.

so, without further ado, hello again. so nice to see you.  i missed you.

it's already 10:10 pm and today was literally me walking around like a lost dog, driving very quickly {but watching for cops} as i zoomed from one thing to the next & never quite making it halfway on time.  so, if this post comes across as in-coherent i guess it just comes with 'the way of the day.'  tomorrow will be different and better and hopefully include less running around to places being late; i hate being late.:)

anyways, i was getting ready the other day {also known as my every-other-day ritual ;)} and i found myself literally juggling in my head how the day was going to work... between the things i needed to get done, still loving my kids, spending time with my one and only, and actually checking some things off the dreaded to-do list... in circus-style, and mind you 25 and a half weeks pregnant, I was jumping through hoops, and doing what felt like mental gymnastics to figure out how said day could pan out with some sanity and i just couldn't come to it.

but the amazing thing was that by 6:30 that morning i came to the end of myself.

in circus terms, 'i realized that it wasn't going to be pretty to try to have a twenty-five week pregnant lady do the tight-rope of life all on my own self reliance.'  {yes, multiple references to self needed...;)}

it was one of those a-ha moments.  but, actually, no.. it was better than that, it was a God moment.  you know why?  because I realized that my reliance on myself was getting no where and that with Him, it might not be tied in a perfect bow, but that I would get through it in one piece.  That the obstacles in my way had a purpose to keep my eyes on Him.  There's no joy in getting to the end of a day and saying 'I did it' but I ran over everyone in my path or even worse, with everyone saying, 'watch out for that crazy girl.'  However, there is joy and peace and comfort in knowing that whatever today brings that I will come out on the other side so much better because I relied on Christ and not on the ever-failing me.

so, although this post is not highly exciting or maybe welcoming, it's real.  that's what we're going for.  hope you have a day like this soon, where you rely on Christ because it's truly better.
Process is better than perfection,

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