Tuesday, July 24, 2012

beach thoughts & parenting.

first off, this is a random strand of thoughts of things that were on my mind today when this situation played out before me.  bare with me... i think you will see the beauty of the Lord.

today i was with my second born on a beach.  interestingly enough my dear sweet husband tells me that my second born is just.like.me.  good, bad, ugly, sweet.... and salty.

i grew up going on vacations to the beach and as i grew up and had a choice between the beach & pool i found that i loved the pool and not so much the beach; the grit, the dirt, the never being able to get those itchy particles off of me.  i do happen to love the awe that comes with the beach.  i mean, come on - who can say there isn't a God when they look at the lake/ocean.  wow. wow. wow.

consequently, my second born loves the pool & hates to let any part of his cute little body touch the sand.  literally curls his long lean legs up if i'm gonna have him touch the sand. {insert stubborn beautifulness that can be used for good one day. wink}

so today we were on the beach. and he finally decided the sand was worthy to be played in if it had to do with a football & volleyball.  but this dear soul also known as my son and the one who is 'so much like his momma in every way,' decided that if he was going to pick up one of the balls in the sand he had to pick up both.  and every time he bent down to get the second ball they both would fall.  he gave it his world class try as only a one year old can and when he failed that second time he had an audible 'pirate arrrgh...'

so he tried and tried and tried again and it wasn't happening.

and i laughed at him because i saw myself so {so} vividly.  so perfectly trying so hard and so evidently {to my Father that i was failing}.

so i said to him, 'reider, just do one at a time.'
and that wasn't ok for him.  his little mind was in the zone to make it happen the way he saw fit and nothing else could suffice.

in my mind i was just thinking, 'buddy, just try your best... that's good enough for me.  it's ok if you can't do it.'

that's what i love and loathe about having kids... is that sometimes at very vulnerable moments you see your weaknesses blaring at you.  but sometimes its amazing because it's so stinking obvious & ridiculous that you can LOL.

in that moment it was so obvious to me that God doesn't ask me for perfect, he just asks me that i look to Him and see that He is strong when i am weak & show me that i can't.do.it.

In mom terms: when i'm trying to juggle twelve balls and they all keep falling because i'm trusting in myself.  

you may think this is a far-fetched idea to capture from this little story but it was so very real as I sat on that sandy sox towel with my little second born trying to pick up both the football & volleyball all over again.

thank you Lord for teaching me in the simple, very real moments in my life.
Lord you are greater,

No comments: