Thursday, March 22, 2012

life lesson... appears again.

i wrote a while back about this sentence:

'if you have to have something, it has you."

small seemingly innocent sentence until you struggle with it and see it lived out in your own life.

as written here it was a relationship, but as i move forward in my life i see that this lesson creeps up when i get comfortable with my thoughts in needing more stuff. i'm sure i'm the only one with this issue... wink, sigh, wink.

since we've moved into our house a few years ago we have made it our own...
we've filled it with furniture,
new appliances,
new fixtures,
pictures of memories,
children and all their 'stuff' (which if you know anything about children and how much stuff they bring with them... 50% of the stuff in our house is accounted for).

all these things are by God's provisions, gifts, and grace. seriously... none of them come from anyone but Him. I mean, people might have given us them but truthfully they were extensions from Him. We straight up feel abundantly blessed.

but there have been days in the last four years where i felt self pity and frustration that i didn't have better counter tops.

{Let me explain about my now-old counter tops... they were white and nasty.. they would get instant stains on them like.. when i would make cupcakes they would get rings on the counter top if i placed them there for two seconds... leaving those rings for weeks at a time. I'm no awesome cleaner but these rings from the dang cupcakes wouldn't come up no matter what i tried. can you say embarrassing?! and that's just one example}

please, please don't judge me- we'll get to 'your own counter tops' in a minute;). i have prayed for them, longed for them and talked about them and at a certain point sometime last year... i realized the dang counter tops and all the obsession with them were stupid. there, i said it. because all that lusting and longing and desiring of a material thing that cannot bring me one ounce of satisfaction.... well, was so stupid to spend so much time thinking about. i know this: definitely not what God wants for me. {Even as i read this back to myself to make sure it makes sense, i'm like gosh.. this sounds so stupid & i don't even use that word}

like i have stated 2.5 million other times on this blog (sorry for the exaggeration)... i am not perfect. by the grace of God though i have been able to come to the other side of that 'stupid lusting attitude' and just say Lord, if we can get these counter tops at a certain point (whenever that is or even if it's never).. that will be wonderful. this was a slow progression but finally getting to the other side made me think... gosh, why did i waste so much time in that desert land of thinking...

well, the other day we got some new counter tops. they're beautiful. you can't see cupcake marks on them- thank heavens. they make my kitchen look so much better, like so much. but, they were just a blessing, they weren't fulfilling some need i supposedly 'had.'

i don't mean to be dramatic but what are the dang 'counter tops' in your life... {i told you we'd get here}
a job, baby, friend, spouse, car, house, outfit, new kitchen, piece of furniture, degree, girl friend/boyfriend, extravagant trip, electronic, fill in the blank.... {it's the thing you spend too much time thinking about}

this i know: if i had gotten these counter tops when we moved in here four years ago i wouldn't have learned this valuable lesson... if i have to have something, it has me. have you learned that?

signed by a work in progress (with new counter tops),

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