i have been thinking about these seasons i've seen in my life of God's faithfulness.... ok not just seasons but the thread that is woven through my whole life. i was thinking back about this story that seems like yesterday but was about two years ago.
the mister and my story is long and involved but the long and short of it is that we fell in love, got married, and life has gone at supersonic speed ever since. we graduated college, worked our tails off in the mean time and shortly after i had gotten my dream job (before it had even actually started) i got pregnant. this was a complete joy and exciting event but the dilemma would come after this little charmer of a firstborn arrived.
from the first conversation of telling my principal i was pregnant i said...'i will finish out the year..' and that i did. but after that season of a newborn, finishing out my first year of teaching and luke finishing his first school year as a youth pastor... well, we just needed to kind of stare at each other for a few minutes. because life really seemed to be going too fast.
side note: do you ever feel like you're in a season and your life is going so fast and is leaving little room for many other things but the things in front of you? you tend to feel like everyone else's lives are at a halt and it will be all fine and well when you can include everyone else again in life? however, the reality i have found is that everyone is busy. And...life just keeps on moving for EVERYBODY. you have to love those you love and keep on or else those you love will feel more and more isolated from you. that's a huge life lesson i have learned personally... love others even in the busyness.
anyways, we decided and trusted that God had provided for us enough that i didn't need to work. that meant that we wouldn't have as free of a lifestyle as two working parents but that I would stay home with this little man and raise him and we would do what it took to pay the bills.
then the faith came in...
the furnace broke (the one of the two that was newer).
home taxes went up.
cars needed fixing.
christmas was coming.
and we chose faith.
i'm not going to say it was unwavering
or that i was always saying hallelujah.
but it was faith.
the Lord provided a job for me to watch my niece.
the Lord provided right around Christmas a research meeting where i made $100(ish?) and didn't even have to stay the whole time because I got there early. I'm sorry, I'm not willing to admit that that's a coincidence.
oh and while I was teaching and Christmas was coming, the Lord provided a small (but what seemed large at the time) proceeds to a small cd project my man had done.
see the thread?
when my faith was small and i started to question if what we had done or were going to choose was wise... God was like... i'm going to give you little nuggets of blessing so you can trust some more.
this summer Luke and his AP life group was meeting with a faithful couple in our church and the wife said,
'you know a lot of people believe the saying that God won't give you more than you can handle. but, i'm not sure i buy that. i think he gives you more than you can handle so that you can trust him and know the greatness of his faithfulness.' i haven't forgotten luke coming home to tell me that. it is true. i buy that so much more.
because so often we're like... but we can't?
wait, what are you thinking God?
and he's always like trust me.
choose by faith.
i will be here, i'm not going anywhere.
there's no forsaking you loved one.
and the even more awesome thing is that in God's unconditional love, when we lack faith he still loves and is faithful. and he wants us to come to him as we are so he can show us his faithfulness once again.
i don't know about you but i'm blown away by him... his love, his goodness, his grace, his FAITHFULNESS.
He is the thread.