Tuesday, January 18, 2011

thoughts of late january

this week i saw info for the hca open house. that brings back memories...
like the memory of going to that after a grueling last day [although i didn't know it] of work as a 2nd grade teacher before i became a mom. hmm.

i woke up the morning after the open house with feet that looked like muffin tops... still. a good 7 hours of feet up, hard core rest (or as much as a 9 month pregnant lady can sleep) and the muffin tops were still there. needless to say, i went into labor less than 24 hours later...

but i also am recalling the fact that when my little carter was 8 1/2 weeks old (i think the same as reid today) i went back to work.
that day was hard... no, that's an understatement. it was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO hard.
i knew he would be taken care of, wasn't worried about that.
i had guilt though.
i missed that little face.
did i mention that my makeup was smeared and dispicable by 7:30 a.m.... that's barely making it out the door.

those thoughts and feelings led me to a new lifestyle of staying home and trusting the Lord that he would provide. it is on the top 5 of best decisions i ever made.
i still say that if i ever had to go back to work, i would go back to teaching in a heartbeat, and that's still true.
but today i don't have to leave my kids on a daily basis to go to work and for that I am thankful.
it means sacrifice in some things & that the new charming outfit i would really like to buy often, well i often just don't go to the mall if the cash is not in my hand. but hey, i'd take being a bit out of date clothes-wise to working....

for those working moms, i give you lots (& LOTS) of credit. families all have to choose what is best for them. who knows, our situation might change... that's why i am thankful today that i am home.

but reid is 8 1/2 weeks old. its hard to believe that carter was this age when we walked into this new season.
i remember God gave me the gift of his first smile a few days before I went back... that was amazing.
I also remember telling my second graders about my lack of sleep and asked them to pray... i'm not even kidding... those kids prayed carter to sleep at night... 3 hour stretches turning into 5...hallelujah.
and one other funny memory is that at the end of the year a lot of the kids got me starbucks gift cards because they always saw coffee in my hand.... coffee & the Lord... that's what got me through.

having a 2 month old is tiring. we've accomplished two months with lack of sleep and it can be wearing on everybody and somedays, i'm not gonna lie... it seems to win.
there lies hope in the fact that my {almost} 2 year old sleeps 12 hours a night and that day should arrive sooner rather than later.... did i mention sooner?
so today, being one of the days where the tired kristen seemed to win (did i mention that's humbling to say outloud?!) i rest in this amazing promise:

God's mercies are new in the morning.... Great is his faithfulness.
amen & amen.

tired but resting in his promises,

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