burnt mac n' cheese.

you guessed it, i did it today.
while my little man decided to have a
MONSTROSITY
of a tantrum.

me and carter communicate on most levels. does he have thousands of words, um.. the answer to that question would be most definitely no... but he can communicate for the most part. so... today when all he would do was cry and scream and push me away

i.was.at.a.loss.

i spent the morning at church with leadership training for the ministry i'm going to be part of this year... entrusted with a child's heart. the thing that rang in my ear's from the morning was, "Satan's biggest tools that he uses to get us down are doubt and discouragement."

like..'kristen, are you serious, you're really going to lead a group of women with parenting tips when you can't even get your own kid to stop crying?' really, really???

as my mac and cheese began to fry (literally) in the bottom of my pan i began to realize... that's all it really is... burnt mac n' cheese. what's more important?? that or a heart change in my son.

there was a battle going on... i can't tell you the logistics because well, i'm still not totally sure. but, by the end of the 'MONSTROSITY of a tantrum' i can tell you i had his heart back.

it's days like today that i'm going to be thankful that it's burnt mac and cheese because (i hope and pray) that battles won on these days would lead to harder battles won in days ahead. do i expect perfect, nope. but, i want a child and believe i can have a child whose heart is mold-able and that will ultimately bring glory to Jesus Christ.

so, yeah we ate burnt mac n cheese for lunch. but since i had his heart back, i enjoyed it all the more.