I said in an earlier post that I would share some of what God has been teaching me lately, it's clearly about time. There's so much, I'm not quite sure where to start but am thankful that in the midst of all the people in the world God is doing a work in me. I'm one tiny dot on the whole spectrum and he cares enough to be part of my world even in the sinful life I've led. I stand amazed.
This year I am able to stay home with Carter. The two months last school year teaching after I had him were trying but I knew that it was what I had to do for our family. It helped us so much financially and allowed us to use the summer to live a life that wasn't super 'tight.' Every day on my way to work I longed to know what my lil man was doing, i longed to see his smiles, and just wanted that family time that makes your cup overflow. but, the duo style of 'having the ability to live with out being 'tight'' and 'the moments with carter and our family' aren't really possible. Yet, this season is revealing to me on a daily basis how faithful God is.
As you go throughout your days and weeks people naturally ask... how are you? The answer is good. I honestly feel rich in the time that I am able to spend with Luke and Carter and for once in many years I don't feel constantly stressed. I feel like I can say yes to things without feeling guilty or making the excuse that I am busy. But, there are definitely those days that come too where I'd love to go to the mall and spend freely. (I've always been a LOVER of shopping.) But, it's not that time right now. The reminder that I have pop into my head is: "I get to be home with Carter." Do those wishes of shopping still come? most definitely. But, the thing is that God did answer my prayer: I'm with my son.
I write this not to get sympathy because we aren't in a terrible situation. I write if only for myself to be vulnerable for once about my struggles as well as to glorify God. Most days when I doubt about his provision are the days that he shows up... not always in monetary amounts but in other ways too...
For example.. the other day we had health care reports that came back from physicals... Luke and I were totally healthy. Wow, you can't buy that.
So, here I leave this blog for all to see, I am weak & sometimes unfaithful. But, GOD is Always faithful. Why would I choose to live for anything less... no good reason.
"For your steadfast love is before my eyes,and I walk in your faithfulness." Psalm 26.3 that's my hope today.